And You Thought You Were Different
by of-souffles-and-daleks
Summary: This is a Friends/Wizards fanfic, with parts of Twilight, Harry Potter and H2O. What happens when an 18 year old Alex with a dark secret meets the Gang? rated T for language. Sounds awful, i know.
1. New friends

_HI!_

this is my second story. i hope it's better than the ffirst one, which suckes.

_this is a story based on a dream I had. i am wierd, deal with it._

_I'm only gonna say this once  
**I OWN NOTHING! If i was Disney i would, but i'm not so i dont.**_

_But I do kinda own Alex. like, i've edited her.  
You'll see what I mean later on.  
PLEASE DON't SUE ME!_

Monica: Joey, you can't keep eating our food! We need it for the party!

Joey: so? I only want 5 sandwiches, 3 beers and a box of cookies!

Chandler (from across the hall): and were running low on pizzas!

*Rachel walks in from her room*

Rachel: you do know he's camping out there!

*they look through the peephole. Sure enough, there was a tent out there.*

Monica: Damn! *she stamps the floor*

*few seconds later*

*monica opens the door*

Mr Heckles: you're doing it again. It's disturbing my babies.

Rachel: you don't have babies

Mr Heckles: I could have babies.

Monica: men can't have babies, they don't have a womb!

Mr Heckles: I could have a womb.

*Joey bursts in through the door. But the fridge is missing.*

Joey: alright, where is the food? A man needs food! WHERE'S THE DAMN FOOD?!

*he runs into Rachel's room*

* he runs out again*

Joey: where is the food?

Monica: ill tell you in the coffee house. We have 5 minutes until Pheobe's gig.

*** in the coffee house***

Pheobe: "Smelly cat, Smelly cat. What are they…"

* a girl is pushed against the window. It smashes and the girl gets covered in glass.*

Monica: Oh My God!

*she runs towards the girl*

Monica: are you alright?

Girl (Hysterically): no. my. Family. abandoned me! The guy who threw me…. They're possessed! They hate me! My dad. my mum. Harper. Dean. Possessed. voldemort…

Joey: well, all I heard was nomyfammi abohn thetrjsh hate damurpedn and volleyball. I mean, she got hit through a window and wants to play volleyball? And it is winter!

Chandler (surprised): Wow, Joey. That is the longest sentence I've ever heard you say!

Pheobe: Mon, I think she needs some sleep. I mean, look at how pale she is!

Monica: come on!*she picks her up* and I think you need a warm bath, you're stone cold.

Girl (still hysterical): not a bath, no, water, no.

***Upstairs***

Rachel: so, why not a bath?

Girl: well, i….so…ill be fine with a water bottle, or blankets. Honest!

Chandler; YEY! I get the candle bath and YOU DON'T!

Girl (under her breath): gay.

Ross: so, what's your name?

Girl: Alex, Alex Russo.

_D'ya like? Or not._

_REVIEWS make me smile!_

_Luvz, Hatsyetta Chocolate_


	2. Clue no 1

***Next Day***

Monica: Right, Rachel. You need to place the candles on the cake. Ross, get the drinks with Joey. And Pheobe…..

Pheobe: yea, yea. Ice and cups. As usual.

Alex (walking in): is there any water?

Rachel: yea, I'll get some.

*disappears into Monica's room*

Alex: so, what's the party for?

Ross: Chandler's 30th.

Alex: so, am I invited? Or do I have to camp on the terrace again?

Monica: hey, you said you wanted to!

Alex: I know, but it's gonna rain tonight.

Monica: no, it is clear tonight.

Alex: uhu.

*Rachel comes in with a bottle of water*

Rachel: here you go!

Alex (looking in her pocket): thanks.

*Alex produces a straw*

Rachel: what is that?

Alex: well…it's a habit.

Pheobe: ooh ooh ooh, I have the same with milk!

Alex: oh kay.

*Joey slips on some ice and falls into Alex. She spills the water over her, Joey and the floor*

Alex: OMG!

*she runs to the bathroom. She locks the door and there is a glow of blue and a 'thud'.

Monica: are you okay?

Alex: yea. I'm fine.

Ross: Monica, the turkey's burning.

*Monica screams*

Monica: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Joey, move out of the way!

Pheobe: well, this is fun.

Ross: I'll say. Rach, let's go get a cup of coffee

Rachel: ok. I'll be down after this!

*Rachel goes into her bedroom*

Pheobe: so, you've gotten over that 'We Were On a Break'

Ross: yea, she knows we were on a…..

Rachel (from bedroom): no we weren't!

Ross: yes we were!

Rachel: no, we weren't

Ross: We were

Rachel: we weren't

Ross: we were

Rachel: we weren't

Alex (from bathroom): you were on a break!

*there is another blue glow, and Alex walks out, bone dry*

Pheobe: how did you get so dry? And how do you know about the We Were On A Break?

*Ross and Rachel still fighting in the background*

Alex: no reason.


	3. A Close Shave

_**So, here's the next chapter…..sorry for the wait!!!**_

***at the party***

Chandler: so, where's the cake?

Monica: it's not a cake. It's a flan.

Chandler: like Rachel's?

Monica: no, better.

Phoebe: yup….

Alex: so, it's not gonna rain?

Monica: no, why?

Alex: so, what explains the water falling from the sky?

Monica: what?

Joey: it's raining!

Rachel: and it's a full moon!

Phoebe; ooh, if you look at a full moon for more than 3 seconds without blinking…you'll die!!!! *shuts eyes*

Ross: Alex…..you have weird eyes. They're a weird colour.

Alex: and???

Monica: yea, I saw that too.

*others join in*

Alex (yelling):when you've all finished!

Monica: stress much?

Alex: Shut up, bitch!

Rachel: what's wrong with you???

Chandler (singing desperately): happy birthday to me, happy….*see's hot girl* well, hello!!!

*by this time Alex is trembling with anger*

Monica: what's wrong with you now?

Alex: n..n…n..n….nothing.

Rachel: but…. You're trembling.

Pheobe: and you're hair's growing!!!!

*Alex runs out of the room. She jumps out of the open window and jumps off the balcony*

All: AAAAH

Chandler: Too much drama!

*he goes into bathroom*

Monica: is she…is she….

Ross: well, all I can see is a very wet dog.

Pheobe: that girl is very mysterious.

Rachel: I'll say.

Joey: Monica………why is there a fridge in your …..oh!

Monica: Joey, get out.

Joey: but….

*there is smoke coming from the bathroom*

Monica: chandler!

*opens door. Chandler is sitting on the floor smoking*

All: oh, chandler!

Chandler: I'm stressed!

*everyone groans*

_**So….anyone know what she is yet???**__** Sorry it's so short….im kinda writing this in a lesson.**_


	4. One Drop of Blood

***after the party***

Rachel: where is she?

Joey (eating a sandwich): she jumped out the window! I think she's been squashed by a…DOG!!!!!

*Joey points to the window, where a dog sits. All but Rachel look*

Rachel: no, no-one gets squashed by a dog…*looks to window* oh.

Monica: what is it doing?

Chandler: it looks like its waiting…for me.

All: huh?

Chandler: for me…to….smoke. SMOKE! It's waiting for me to smoke. Ill die if I don't smoke.

*he heads to the door. Ross stops him*

Ross: chandler, you'll die anyway.

Chandler: so? I need to smoke!

Pheobe: look, there's Alex!

*Alex is climbing through the balcony window. The others rush to her.*

Phoebe: oh, are you...

Alex: I'm fine Pheebs.

Ross; did you see the dog?

Alex: oh, yea. That. Well, it was my pet. We sent him away. He found me and we went for a walk together. He just left.

Joey: oh yea? I know you're lying! I'll find out the truth.

Alex; so, you'll follow me with a fake beard on?

Joey: how d'ya know that?

Monica: look, she's tired, but somehow dry…oh well. She needs some sleep.

Rachel: I'm gonna read a mag. Pheebs, they have that coat you wanted.

Phoebe: oh oh oh!

Alex: I'm gonna read over your shoulder then.

*Joey and Chandler walk out with a 'see ya'*

*as Phoebe and Rachel look through the mag, Rachel gets a paper cut. A drop of blood falls onto the cushion*

Rachel: crap.

*Alex freezes and looks as if she's in pain. Her eyes turn from gold to red*

Phoebe: Alex, what's wrong?

*Alex looks as if she's about to pounce on Rachel*

Pheobe: guys, Alex has gone weird! Help me get her out!

*the gang except Rachel try to drag her out, but Alex is too strong*

Ross: her eyes...they're, well, red.

*Alex suddenly runs through the window at the speed of sound. As she touches Pheobe, Pheobe shivers and Joey falls over*

Monica: NOOOOOOOOOOO. That's two holes in the window!

Phoebe: she is so weird. It's like she's hiding something from us. And she is freezing. My skin's blue where she touched me.

*outside there is a howl, a growl and silence. There is also a lot of barking*

Monica: she's gone to Central Park. If we go on the terrace, we'll spot her through the telescope.

*they all run up to the terrace*

Monica: shit, she's gone.

Chandler: well, next time that happens, we'll know where to go.

Ross: she seems, well, alien somehow. She's so strange she can't be human.

Joey: and, she's been here for 4 days and she's never eaten anything but meat.

Pheobe: oh my god. She's a meatatarian.

Rachel: there's no such thing.

Pheobe: no, she's the opposite of a vegetarian. She's a meatatarian.

Monica: or she's a carnivore.

Ross: she's a real animal. Seriously. We've got to confront her.

Chandler: or let her eat us.

*They walk back down. Alex jumps onto the now empty terrace. She has brown eyes, slightly changing to gold, and her mouth is stained red…with blood.*

_**DU DU DUUUUUUUN**_

_**D'ya like??????**_

_**I'll update soon…**_

_**First to review gets a peek at the next chapter!**_

_**Hatsyetta**_

**XD**


	5. She's strange

***Back in the apartment***

Monica: I'll clear up the blood. Rach, go get a plaster. Guys, guard the door. Pheebs, balcony. The moment you see her, blow on the whistle.*hands all whistles*

Ross: What good is a whistle gonna do to protect us from a monster?

Monica: nothing. I'll rush out with the net.

Joey: what net…oh.

Chandler: You mean the net? _**The **_net?

Pheebs: what net? *Joey mimes* oh.

Ross: tell us what net already!

Joey: the one you and Richard had sex in!

Ross: eeew!

Alex (from behind him): yea, totally gross!

*Joey points and blows the whistle*

Monica: GET THE NET!!!!!!!

All: no way.

Alex: do you think I'm a monster or something???

All: well…..

Chandler: yes?

Alex: well, I…well….I won't disturb you then. 'night.

*she walks to the door, and looks as if she would cry*

Joey: I'm hungry. Let's get a pizza!

All except Monica: Kay.

*Monica walks to the closet she cleared out for Alex*

Monica: Alex???

*no answer*

Monica: Alex?

*no answer*

Monica: Alex? Look, we're sorry. It's just…well…you act really strange sometimes. *still no answer* *Monica tries to open the door*

Monica: Alex unlock this door now!

*no answer*

Rachel: Mon, leave her. She's upset.

Ross: you used to lock yourself in your room if someone said you ate too much.

Monica (looking in a draw): well, this is different.

Rachel: how?

*Monica decides not to answer, and finds a key*

Ross: what's th…oh. No no no no no no no no no no NO!

Monica (unlocking the door) : I'm seeing if she's ok! There's a knife in there! *opens the door*

*Monica tries to walk into the closet, but there is an invisible force keeping her out*

Ross: what on earth? Let me try.

*tries to get in and fails*

Rachel: I'll do it!

*cant*

*soon everyone is trying to get in. suddenly, they are thrown back and the closet door shuts and locks itself*

Joey; I think it's time for a meeting. We'll work out this strange girl, here! sit's in the fridge*

Chandler: how about here? *carries him to the sofa*

Monica: we'll need your laptop. You guys wasted the paper drawing porn.

Chandler and Joey: good times!

*chandler gets his laptop and turns it on*

Rachel: this meeting has now started!

Chandler: wait………yup

Rachel: right. Now the meeting has started!

_**NOT SUR IF U CAN REVIEW, COS I DELETED THE AUTHORS NOTE….SO IF U CANT REVIEW….SEND ME A MESSAGE ON MY PROFILE!**_

_**Sorry if it was too short! I'll add the next chapter soon! I **_

_**First one to review gets a sneak peek.**_

_**Luvz**_

_**Hatsyetta**_


	6. The Meeting

***in the meeting***

Monica: let's make a list of all the things weird about her.

Rachel: well, she won't touch water

Joey: and she's really cold.

Chandler: slow down!!! I need to type!

Ross: done yet?

Chandler: wait….wait….yes!

Phoebe: she keeps disappearing to random places, and Betty's dog was killed by some animal, one of the nights she disappeared! And the dog looked as if it was drained of blood!

Rachel: and remember when I got a paper cut and she went all weird?

Ross: yea, like she wanted to kill you!

Chandler: wanted….to…kill…..Rachel…OK!

*Joey looks at screen*

Joey: wo ho ho!

Ross: Chandler, why are you looking at….wow, she's hot!

Monica: STOP LOOKING AT PORN!

Boys *looking sad*: o.k.

*chandler goes back to the document labelled: 'Alex's weird stuff thingy'.*

***in about 10 minutes the list is complete***

Monica: so, Chandler, what's the list?

Chandler: well:

She won't touch water, and when she does she runs to the bathroom.

She's really cold.

She is the suspect of murdering Betty's dog.

She disappears to random places.

She ran away from a paper cut.

She wants to kill Rachel

7……….

Monica: no, no. _**she wanted to kill Rachel when she got a paper cut!**_

Chandler: o.k. *changes it*

Ross: carry on…

Chandler: let's start again.

She won't touch water.

She's really cold.

She is the suspect of murdering Betty's dog.

She disappears to random places.

She wanted to kill Rachel when Rachel got a paper cut.

She's got some sort of force field in her room.

She only eats meat.

She smashes the window when she gets too angry and disappears, then turns up with her dog.

She runs _**REALLY FAST**_.

She got thrown through a window and didn't even get a scratch! Same with when she runs through them!

Ross: I read a book once, about a vampire. They sparkle in sunlight, look like real people, drink blood and are really fast and really strong, like they're made out of stone! And…they never age!

Joey: and I saw a doc….doc…

Others: DOCUMENTORY!

Joey: yea, a dolucmenrytor _**(pronounced doc you men ri tour)**_ on mermaids in australila _**(not a typing error!). **_Apparently they're normal people who can't touch water, or they turn into mermaids!

Monica: and I just saw a flying pig!

Phoebe: where? *looks outside*

Rachel: and, did you know werewolves _eat nothing but meat, _and turn into a huge dog _when they get angry!_

Chandler: Wizards can cast shields around a room so no-one can get in!

***Just then Alex walked out of her room***

All: we know what you are!

_**Dun Dun DUUUUUUUUUUN**_

_**Anyhoo, I hope you figured out what she was! **_

_**This is not the end of the story!!! There is a short part next!**_

***As Chandler says his wizard fact, a cold, hissing voice came from a hooded figure on the balcony*

Hooded figure: Wormtail!

***the rat immediately becomes human***

Wormtail: y…y…y…yes m..my l..l..lord?

Figure: This, Alex girl…she's the same Alex girl… well attack as soon as we can. Alert the Death Eaters!

Wormtail: y..yes lord v..Voldemort, sir.

_**Now it's the end of the chappy! Reviews make me smile! First to review gets a sneak peek!**_


	7. Telling the Gang

_**OMG…I am sooooooooooooooooooooo sorry that I havn't updated in ages, but I've been ill and had to catch up on school work. And no, I didn't have swine flu.**_

_All: we know what you are._

Alex: yes. Has Joey figured out I'm a girl?

Joey: you are? I thought you were a…uuuh….Vampirey warewolfy mermaidy wizardy thingy and _is there any food in here?_

Monica: in my room.

*Joey runs out*

Alex: but….how…what…. *bursts into tears*

Chandler: aaaaaaaaaaaaah. Don't cry!

*Alex cries some more*

Ross: why don't you sit down and tell us all about it?

Phoebe: ooh, story time! *she sits cross legged on the floor*

Alex: well…

Me and my brothers were born wizards. We attended wizard classes and went to a mortal school. Then, we went on vacation to Australia. For a joke, my brothers transported me to the island on the coast. On the island is a volcano, but the pool in it is of water. So I fell in the water and the moon passed over. The water bubbled and I was transported back.

*Alex paused*

Joey (with a mouthful of sandwich): come on!

Alex: I was in the bath and around 10 seconds after I touched the water, I grew this large, gold tail.

When I told my parents, they were kinda freaked, but they live with weirdness. I mean, they have Max!

Rachel: who?

Alex: my little brother. Anyway,

Back home, I was out in the park, when a…thing bit me.

I was in pain for 3 days. When I woke up, I wanted to kill everyone I saw!

Luckily I knew I was a vampire. We'd studied them at Wiz Tech.

Phoebe: where?

Alex: it doesn't matter! Now,

I hunted every few nights for animals. My parents got suspicious and confronted me. So I told them. My mum freaked out, but dad was calm and supplied me with information. And…well… you guys are gonna freak out, but I'm not 18. I'm 26. Justin's 28 and still at home. Max….well…hell never meet anyone anyway. My mum is 50, my dad's 51 and Harper's 26. **(note: I have no idea how old anyone is AT ALL)**

Then while I was hunting, I saw a wolf that smelt like a man. I figured it was someone's pet. But the blood was human.

From then on, if I got angry I would become a huge wolf. It was kinda helpful when hunting. It was less suspicious seeing a dog footprint near a corps than a human one.

Chandler: that was better than porn!

Alex: SHUT UP! I'm not finished yet.

There was one wizard that wanted me to join his force, the Death Eaters. But they were bad. They killed for fun. And the leader wanted me, so he bewitched my friends and family, trying to get them to bring me to him. But I read their minds, and they all said: 'Alex to voldie. Alex to voldie or death' there was even one that said 'voldie will kiss you if you get Alex to me, sweetie'

Monica: wait, you read their minds?

Alex: yea. It comes with being a vampire.

Anyway, so I ran. I can run faster than anything, *Alex read Joey's thoughts*

It's a vampire thing.

And then my dad pushed me through the window and I ended up with you guys!

Ross: cool story!

Phoebe: show us!

Alex: ok. Uuuh. Joey: tip water over me!

Joey: ok!

*Joey tips water over Alex. She sways for a few seconds before falling onto the floor, as a mermaid*

Alex*On the floor*: now, make me angry!

Rachel: you're ugly!

Monica: you smell!

Ross: you're worse than Susan!

*soon they're all throwing insults at her. Then…..*

Chandler: What are you supposed to be, a giant, ugly, fat fish?

Alex: shut the fuck up!

*Alex trembles, then she bursts and is replaced by a dog. She then transforms back. After that, she sets Monica on fire and extinguishes it, with no harm done to her or the cushion she used to try and put it out*

Monica: well…….now can you read our minds?

Alex: line up.

*they do*

Alex: right.* Points to Chandler* cigarettes, * Points to Monica*, Richard *Chandler looks at her like 'guess you're on the couch tonight'* * Points to Joey*, gay sex and a cheese sandwich?

Joey: yea baby!

Alex: okay…*Points to Ross* dinosaurs eating Ben * Points to Phoebe* Betty's dead dog which I did not kill! * Points to Rachel* Bloomingdales.

All: wow.

Alex: Voldemort: lets get her…….

Monica: what?

Alex: uuuh, uuuh, get behind me!

*as they all get behind her, there is a shatter of glass *Monica: third time in a week* and there stands a hooded figure and a rat-like man*

Voldemort: so, we meet at last, Alexandra.

_**Oooooooh, cliffy!**_

_**I promise the next chapter will be at least 1000 words!**_

_**But only **__**if I get reviews!**_

_**Only a few more chapters left! I may cry!**_

_***boo hoo***_

_**But there might be a sequel!**_



_**Review and **__**I'll send you a sneak peek…if you can beat the others to it! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!**_

_**Luvs**_

_**Hatsyetta**_

_**XD**_


	8. The War

_Voldemort: so, we meet at last, Alexandra_

Alex: it's Alex, not Alexandra.

Wormtail: *gasp*

Voldemort: do not answer back to the Dark Lord, or me.

Alex: but you're the same people!

Voldemort: I thought I told you to shut up!

Joey: technically you told her not to answer back!

Voldemort: so…mortal. You like jokes?

*Alex reads Voldemort's mind and sees what he's gonna do*

Alex: if you harm any of them, I'll kill Nagini! I've never had a snake's blood before….

Voldemort: fine. But can I at least lock them up?

Alex: no. I'll sort them out.

*Alex forms a bubble around them, so they can't get out. Luckily, she put the fridge in there too. Joey tuckes in*

Voldemort: so, why won't you join us? You could be a great addition to the team. You can have _proper_ blood, not that animal muck you have. You and Greyback can hunt, and…..

Alex: if you even think I'll become a …murderer like you, you've got another think coming.

Voldemort: you do realise you are this close to getting killed?

Alex: I can't be killed, I'm a fucking vampire? For someone who is a …_Lord_, you're kinda dumb.

Wormtail: I'll get her!

Voldemort: NO. She just needs some persuading, that fish…

*Alex burst and becomes the dog again. Voldemort turns round and laughs*

Voldemort: do you really think you can beat me as a dog? Ha! If an idiot can kill Dumbledore, he can kill you to!

*he calls Snape over*

Snape: sir called me?

Voldemort: take care of this brat.

Snape: sir…she's a dog.

Voldemort: so? You've killed Dumbledore! Surely you can take on a…_thing. _

Snape: yes lord. eer…dog?

*Alex growls*

Snape: could you…could you become human so I can talk to you?

*Alex changes back*

Alex: can't anyone remember that I'm as far from human as possible?

Snape: so….why wont you join us?

Alex: because you're murderers and you're mean and you deserve to go to hell! Not even hell, you're to evil for that! Go die in a hole!

Voldemort: young lady, I've been nice to you so far, but that is just out of line! It's time for….war!

Alex: you realise you'll never kill me?

Voldemort: oh yea? AVADA KEDAVRA!

*the spell rebounds off Alex and hits Snape.

Snape: uug.

*Snape dies*

Voldemort: damn. Ah well, he was stupid.

*Wormtail runs to Alex as a rat and tries to gnaw her leg. Instead he breaks a tooth.*

Voldemort: IMPERIO

*again that bounces off her and hits a wall*

Alex: I suggest you stop, cause Mr Heckles is coming up.

*there is a knock at the door*

Alex: I'll answer it!

*she opens the door*

Mr Heckles: shut up! I can hear all of you! It's disturbing my wife.

Alex: well tell your imaginary wife that the cream on the second shelf of your fridge is moulding, good day.

*she shuts the door in his face*

Alex: so, you were attempting to kill me?

Voldemort: yes, that was the plan.

Monica: can I just say this apartment isn't mine, per say, so if you could…*Voldemort looks angrily at her* just….well….I'll shut up now.

Voldemort: CRUCIO!

Alex(at same time) :Cranium Revolvis

*the outcome: Voldemort shoots Wormtail. As he is on the ground in pain, Voldemort's head it non-stop turning*

Alex: Piggly, Wiggly, Get in the Jiggly

*now Wormtail is in a block of jelly. Joey moans longingly.

Alex: Joey. I'll make you some soon.

*Voldemort stops his head turning*

Voldemort: you'll pay for that!

Alex: do you like jelly? Cause I can make you one too!

Voldemort: how about I take *snatches Pheobe from the bubble* her and unless you join me, you will lose your friends. So…what will it be?

Alex: well….I have no choice. You haven't acted with any responsibility, say goodbye to your magical ability

*Voldemort looks strangely at her*

Voldemort: Well…will you join me?

Alex: NEVER!

Voldemort: you leave me with no choice. AVADA KEDAVRA!

*nothing happens*

Voldemort: uuh. AVADA KEDAVRA?

*nothing happens*

Voldemort: you…you….

Alex: oh my god. Only a full wizard could do that spell……no wonder Justin couldn't do that….all he did was make max eat broccoli. that was a fun day.

Voldemort: what…how….you….what?

Alex: I have you're powers. Release her now.

Voldemort: shit. *releases her* so, you won?

Alex: oh, wait. One more thing.

*she runs to Voldemort and within half a second he is slowly dieing, and Alex is sucking his blood. Within 3 seconds, she is finished and tosses his body over the balcony*

Alex: well, I have to say, I prefer dog blood.

Joey: what about the jelly man?

Alex: oh, yea. Piggly, Wiggly, get out of that Jiggly!

*Wormtail is out*

Wormtail: But…lord…you…BITCH!

Alex: peter, do you want me to kill you to?

Wormtail: no?!

Alex: You haven't acted with any responsibility, say goodbye to your magical ability

*Wormtail is left powerless. He can't even become a rat!*

Wormtail: so…well…

Alex: oh, and one more thing. Cerebellum Erasus!

*as the others are still in the bubble, only Wormtail gets affected*

Alex: now go.

Wormtail: uuuh…Where am I?

*Alex carries him out of the door. She then rids of Snape's body. Then she releases the others from the bubble*

Ross: you were so cool!

Rachel: yea. That was sooo scary!

Chandler: I need porn!

Joey: where'd the jelly man go?

Alex: so, no-one's angry?

Monica: well…you did wreck my apartment!

Alex: oh, wait!

*in a minute the apartment is good as new, and somehow better! Joey's gone back across the hall, taking all the food he can cary from Monica's fridge*

Alex: there you are. How's that?

Monica: it's…well….uuuh…*hugs Alex*

Alex: shall we watch TV?

*as they are watching Hannah Montana comes up on-screen*

Phoebe: uuuh. Hannah Montana.

Rachel: I hate her

Alex: I know! She thinks she's sooo amazing at everything! I'd like to see her try and be a vamwolfmermaidzard. I know her granddad. He smells baaaaaaaaaaaad

Monica: yea, she's worse than me!

Ross: no, she's worse than Susan!

Chandler: that means she's…ooh….nasty!

*the phone rings*

Monica: I'll get it! *answers it*

Hi…yea…uhu…yup.*hangs up* Guys, Joey got free porn again.

Phoebe: ooh! I'll go!

Rachel: pheebs are you ok?

*the boys are long gone*

Joey (from across the hall): it's boy on boy and girl on girl porn!

Rachel, Phoebe and Monica: I'm in!

*they run out*

*Alex stares out the window wondering if her family will ever get released from the curse. She was happy that, for once in her life, she had some older friends to take care of her without being to motherly. And if she never gets her family back, she knows she's always got the gang. Just then, she felt thirsty*

Alex: I'll try some bear blood….there's a sick one in the zoo, put it out of his misery…

_**Aaaaw. That last part made me cry!(yes, even the bear part)**_

_**Anyway, that was over 1000 words long. Phew. Hav no idea how u guys do it!**_

_**Sleepy, **_

_**i'm guessing only up to 3 chapters left!**_

**_BTW, i'm sorry if any of u r HM fans......i just can imagine Alex saying that because of the whole Miley vs Selena thing.......(yea, i know it was ages ago! i'm not that stupid)_**

_**Sneak peak for first to review!**_

_**Hatsyetta **_




	9. The farewell

_This will be a VERY __long chapter, as this includes Mike finding out about Alex. And it is the last chapter!!!! *boo hoo*_

_But………_

_I promise that there will be a sequel! In fact, I've written the first chapter already!_

_Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! Here is a list of their names:_

_Special thanks to:_

_**AilenNinja**__ for reviewing every single chapter_

_**LONDON BABY**__ for saying my story was strange…like me!!!!!!! Thank you! (I mean it, I'm __**not**__ being sarcastic.)_

_**Rae94**____for being the very first to review!_

_And __**Count Army Leader **__for sending me the most random review ever!!!!!! Read it. In fact, It's at the end of the chapter so you won't have to bother. _

_Thanks also to:_

_**Writer on the Run 2.1**_

_**alliewinchester**_

_**Matthew Valentein**_

_**musicmixinggirl 101**_

_**12BrowniesAreGood12**_

_**13IsLucky**_

_Enjoy my faithful readers!_

_Ta ta for now!_

_Also, it contains stuff taken from the Wizards of Waverly Place Movie, so if you haven't seen it, it will spoil things! I saw it on YouTube before it premiered in England, and I told my sister about it, and spoiled it for her, and got attacked. Please don't hurt me!_

_Luv u guys!_

***Two years later***

_(Alex is still with the gang, Monica and Chandler are married and have twins, *yes, its kinda mucked up…deal with it*Taylor and Ismay. Rachel and R__oss are together and have Emma. Phoebe and Mike have triplets, Karis, Jacob and Hatsyetta *cos I can be in my story* and Joey is pretty much the same.)_

***In Monica's Apartment***

Monica: Rachel, Emma's crying again!

Rachel: so? Taylor was killing my head last night. I could hear him from the next building!

Monica: no, that would be one of Phoebe's kids.

Alex: it was Hatsyetta. Ismay was sleeping, Taylor was pooping, Emma was eating and Karis was thinking of trees.

Rachel: what about Jacob?

Alex: he was the only good one.

*The boys walk in*

**(****BTW Mike is oblivious to the fact that Alex is a mermaid/wizard/vampire/werewolf)**

Mike: hi girls!

Joey: hi

Ross: game was great. WE WON!

Chandler: no, mike won, I won, Joey won, you were screaming in pain cos you stubbed your toe.

Ross: thanks man.

Chandler: well, they all know you bruise like a peach.

*Phoebe walks in with Karis, Jacob and Hatsyetta in denim cowboy outfits*

Mike: pheebs, what the hell have you done to our kids?

Phoebe: what, like they don't look cute? If you must know, a guy told me they looked gorgeous.

Alex: no, he wanted to have sex with you.

Mike: how did you know that?

All: uuuh

Alex: well…uuuh….it obvious!

Phoebe: cheers.

*all except phoebe and Alex leave*

Alex: personally, I think they're cute. I needed to cover it up…ya know?

Phoebe: yea. I knew. Let's go to the coffee house.

***in the coffee house***

Phoebe: "Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, what are they…"

*some people run in through the window, crash into Gunther and knock over the microphone. They one of them stops to talk to a hot girl before falling over*

Man: Alex!

Alex: j..j..justin?

Justin: Alex! *hugs*

Woman: oh my god!

Phoebe: well…that went well.

Monica: it's that song, Pheebs. Never…Sing...It...Again...

Mike: huh?

Chandler: well, last time she sang it, Alex came in through the window. Now Alex will be leaving….probably through the window.*he ducks behind Monica and the twins*

Alex: Harper! Max!

Woman: Alex!!!

Other Man: Alex!

Alex: oh my god! The spell broke!

Mike: what spell? Oh my god she's a which.

Max: I thought I was the one who exposed it! _(A/N: you won't know what I'm talking about unless you've seen 'Future Harper')_

Gunther: exposed what? And you'll need to pay for that window. _again_

Alex: for Christ's sake. Here. *gives him about $1000*

Gunter: well……I….umm…thanks. you get a free muffin!

Joey: wait! I thought you could only give out free muffins if it's someone's birthday!

Gunther: and if they give you cash.

Joey: here! *gives him a piece of gum and a chocolate coin*

Gunther: uuh….that's not money.

Joey: crap! I thought I'd fooled you.

*all that time Justin, Max, Harper, Alex and the rest of the gang are watching, silently laughing*

Ismay: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Monica: chandler! Don't give her coffee!

Chandler: actually, this time it was hartsy.

Harper: it's Harper. And what did I do?

Chandler: whatever. And you're wearing a fish-bowl on your head with fish in it! How weird can you get? _(A/N: another line from 'Future Harper')_

Alex: live with it, she once wore a baby-suit at a pool party and wore a shower to a baby-shower.

Phoebe: oh! We could wear baby-suits, couldn't we mike?

Mike: if I didn't love you I would slap you. But instead I'm gonna pretend you never said that.

Ross: so, why are you guys here again?

Max: to take Alex home.

Alex: what…wha…..really?

Max: yea. I missed ya.

Harper: oh, guess what? Gigi's pregnant!

Alex: and I care _how?_

Justin: it's not her husband's baby! Its her brothers boyfriend's! She's carrying a gay man's baby!

Rachel: gross! It's part homosexual! _(A/N: for all the gays out there! I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST GAYS! Personally, you guys rock! I just imagined Rachel saying that!)_

Ross: Rach, what's wrong with a gay baby?

Max: yea, your mate's gay!

Chandler: I have a wife and two kids. I AM NOT GAY!

Mr Heckles (appearing out of no-where and popping up from behind the sofa): I am.

Chandler: no you're not Mr Heckles. *sees heckles and does his funny jump* aaaah!!!! *holds up a screaming Taylor to hide behind*

Mr Heckles: I could be gay. *sinks back behind the sofa*

Karis: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Mike: uh oh. Karis did a poopie.

Emma: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Ross: and Emma did a poopie.

Hatsyetta: 

Alex: she's a singer. And she wants attention.

Mike: how did you know that?

Alex: uh…….

*Gunther walks over and manages to pour water over Alex. Let's say he's annoyed because no-one is buying anything*

Alex: shit. *runs to bathroom*

Rachel: Gunther!

Gunther: y..yes?

Rachel: be a honey and get me a bagel.

Gunther (blushing): yes. Anything for you.

Ross: oh crap. Got a paper cut.

*Alex walks in and freezes*

Alex: what….what…..smell….blood. *looks and Ross* Damn you peach! *runs out, but through the door*

Monica: wow. Never seen her exit without smashin a window.

*Alex smashes a car window*

Phoebe: you had to say that.

Mike: ok. Please tell me what's going on.

Chandler: well…….she's a girl?

All: uuuh

Justin: I need iced tea.

Harper: I need to feed the fish.

Phoebe: I'll change the babies.

*they all leave but are back in three minutes*

Mike: hey Chandler, can I borrow your computer?

Chandler: yea. Here. *passes it to him*

*others talk amongst themselves*

Mike: hey chandler? What's a Vanweremaidzardpire? (van-were-maid-zard-pire)

All except Joey: *gasp*

Joey: uuh, a werewolf mermaid wizard vampire. Why?

Mike: because that's what Alex is.

Joey: what? That's totally…oh…

Ross (patting Joey's leg): Way to go man, way to go.

Mike: and pheebs, you knew this? And you let her baby-sit?

Phoebe: well….I might have known…..

Mike: what?

Rachel: look, she's got amazing self control! She put a plaster on Emma when she got a paper cut!

Monica: paper cuts really run in the family, don't they?

*Rachel glares at Monica*

Justin: look, we only came to take Alex back home.

Max: yea. I haven't missed her this much since I got trapped in that vortex. It was scary

Harper: hey, she almost killed me when we were going to the party!

Justin: yea, but_ I_ saved you!

Harper: oh, my knight in shimmering armour!

*they kiss*

Ross: I think this is the time for…..**anyway**…._(A/N: taken from the episode 'pilot'…I think……)_

Monica: I'm gonna miss her.

Joey: me too. She knows how to make a good sandwich!

Chandler: she knows some great porn sites! *see's Monica's face* which I watched when we were not married……which would have been impossible…….well……..uuh…..anyone got a gun?

Ross: she told me that that bone from the tyrannosaurus…*others including babies + Russos fake snore*…look, I'm saying anyway. That bone from the Tyrannosaurus Rex was in fact from the back of the very first Homo-Sapiens.

Joey: what? The very first gay sapiens?

Ross: no, humans. Look, you'll forget it anyway.

Monica (now crying): she…she……told me that garlic never makes anything taste better…unless it's snails.

Rachel: she told me when I was dressed awfully.

Mike: she told me that Phoebe hates PPS. And Pottery Barn. _(A/N: no idea how to spell it)_

Phoebe: she told me when Hatsyetta managed to climb into the bathtub and eat a spider. _(TEE HEE)_

Mr Heckles (popping up again): she told me my cream was mouldy.

Chandler: ok, now go away.

Mr Heckles: no, I want to buy a stripper.

Joey: what the fuck?

Monica (slapping him): DON'T SWEAR INFRONT OF THE BABIES!!!!!!

Ismay: fu…fu….fu...fuh…fuh…fuck.

Chandler (talking out of the corner of his mouth): Joey, Monica is going to kill you. I suggest you jump in front of a car and save yourself the torture. She has eyelash curlers!

Monica: Joseph Dead Tribbiani!

Joey: my middle name is not dead.

Ross: what is it then?

Joey: it's….uuh….uuh…Sandra….Sandramon.

Monica: that's not even a name!

*Alex walks in through the door*

Alex: look, it's getting late and I haven't seen my family for two years!

Chandler: so? I haven't seen my mum for 5!

Rachel: chandler, you hate your mum.

Mike: wait….she was at that dinner last year!

Chandler: no, that was my gay dad.

Alex: look, I have to go! But, I'll miss you. It'll be easier if I just leave. Bye you guys! I'll never forget you, and I'll go to all your funerals...*pauses*…and I'll meet you at Mr Heckles's. Keep the 23rd October 2004 free.

Rachel: oh.

All: bye

Alex: come on guys, let's go home.

*they disappear*

Monica (now sobbing): she..she…she's r…really..g..g..gone!

Ross (also crying): I know!

*all except Chandler cry, including Gunther and some dude at the counter*

Joey: man, you're dead inside!

Chandler: I can't cry. We've been through this. Three days it took.

Mike: well, we'd better go catch that movie. Rachel, you'll baby-sit, wont you?

Ross: sorry, we're gonna see a game. Maybe Monica..

Monica: ok. I'll try…..I wish Alex was here!!

*now everyone in the coffee house is crying, including Chandler and some dude on the ceiling, cos I can*

*** In the Waverly Sub Shop***

Teresa: I can't believe Alex might be Dead!

Jerry: she won't be. Nothing can kill a Vampire. I'm sure she'll pop up.

*Justin, Max and Alex pop up. Harper has been dropped off*

Alex: Mum! Dad!

Teresa: Alex!

Jerry: Baby girl!

Max: a turkey sandwich!!! *goes and eats the leftover sandwich*

Alex: oh! I've missed you so much!

Teresa and Jerry: we've missed you too!

*they all go upstairs and have a reunion*

*** Alex's Bedroom ***

Alex (to the window): Goodnight guys. I'll never forget you as long as I live. Which will be forever. And ever. *to herself* I wish I had someone like me to keep me company.

Little did she know her wish will come true…in 26 years time.

_Review for the last time!__ Until I can put up the sequel: So You Still Think You're Different. I might give you guys a trailer…you never know……_

_But I'll need 9 reviews and I'll post it up._

_First to review this story will get the first chapter, the full first chapter! So the competition's on! _

_Luvs_

_Hatsyetta Sapphire Chocolate_

_(yes, that is my real name. deal with it. My mum _had_ to marry someone with the surname Chocolate.)_

XD!!!!!

Izumi: Does it count as a good review if I make it bad and not make anysense  
apart from in the first sentence?  
Edward: I'm confused!  
Rei: Shut up you whiny brat! Hut two three four! *Does army march around  
living room* Now twenty pressups, four hundred sit ups and 1 squat... Yes that  
shall do.  
Izumi: 0_0' Okay... Freaky... Hatsyetta, do you know where to buy blue hairdye? I  
wanna dye my hair again =3


End file.
